VTQ: NES Remix 2 (Part 1)
Video: [Vinesauce] Vinny – NES Remix 2 (part 2) [YouTube]
Upload date: May 31, 2014
Game(s): NES Remix 2
Console: Wii U
0:10 – Vamos, de jogar novo.
Portuguese for “Come on, play again” or “Let’s play again,” depending on which reputable translation tool you use.
0:14 – Also, you know the AriZona cans that are a dollar? I was [accent] at deli [normal] and there was, ah ha, there’s a, uh, Shaq version that had Shaquille O’Neal–oh, my God, look at that! My [laughs] fucking picture’s on… [gasps, then coughs] I’m gonna puke. Um, there’s a Shaquille O’Neal, uh, thing. And you know how AriZona’s usually, like, iced tea or it’s like, uh, lemonade or orangeade or grapeade. So I bought it. And, and I look at it, and it’s, like, f-fizzy, and I’m like, “What the fuck is this?” And it’s blueberry… cream soda. So I’m thinking that the meeting went like this, like, “Umm, hey, Shaq. AriZona would love for you to work with us. Ah, but-but here’s the thing: we need you to come up with an idea.” [Shaq impression] “Well… Shaq want blueberry cream.” “Blueberry cream? That’s interesting, we’ve never heard that–” “Soda.” “Soda? But, Shaq, we don’t do soda, we do iced tea.” “Shaq want… blueberry cream… soda. Even though Shaq sound like Karl Malone… that’s what Shaq want.” “All right, Shaq, uh, we don’t do soda, w-w-we really don’t do that, we do iced tea, we do juice, and, and that, and that’s it. We don’t, we don’t even have carbonation plant.” “I don’t care. Shaq want Karl Malone… no.” “Eh. Okay, Shaq, you got it, Shaq want Karl Malone–guys, can we get some fizzy drinks up in this shit?” And then they did it. And it was pretty good.
The Brooklyn-based company AriZona Iced Tea started with the idea to produce high-quality tea and juice drinks for bottom dollar affordability.
American basketball player and part-time internet meme Shaquille “Shaq” O’Neal had a varied sports career, playing for Orlando Magic (1992-1996), Los Angeles Lakers (1996-2004), Miami Heat (2004-2008), Phoenix Suns (2008-2009), Cleveland Cavaliers (2009-2010), and Boston Celtics (2010-2011). Off the court, Shaq has enjoyed making the obligatory guest star appearances on _Saturday Night Live_, became a reserve officer, pursued MBA and Ed.D. degrees, made music… you know what, just read his Wikipedia page. (Ellie’s note: My first Wikipedia link. Lord help me.)
From 2013 to 2016, AriZona partnered with Shaq to create a line of cream sodas. Besides blueberry, three other flavors were produced: strawberry, vanilla, and orange. [The Soda Wiki – Soda Shaq]
Karl “the Mailman” Malone is another American basketball player who played for Utah Jazz (1985-2003) and Los Angeles Lakers (2003-2004). He’s known for referring to himself in the third person and notorious for impregnating a 12/13-year-old girl when he was 20. (Ellie’s Note: Not that this is a drama blog, but I know that someone will nag me about it if I don’t mention it now.)
3:27 – I-it is like a big advertisement for, like, um… that’s all it is, it’s just an-an advertisement for, um, NES games on the Virtual Console.
Depending on your level of cynicism, the NES Remix games might feel like advertisements, but their origin story is sweeter. During Koichi Hayashida’s work on Super Mario 3D World, the game director spent his free time getting Famicom games onto the Wii U. NES Remix emerged from this groundwork and Hayashida’s own nostalgia, giving the gift of short challenges for busy adults who want to sneak games into their work. [IGN – How Mario 3D World’s Co-Director Gave NES Games a Second Life]
If you want another comparison, think of NES Remix as a WarioWare game, but without the motley crew and overarching money-making scheme (except the real life one concerning Nintendo).
5:31 – [Sung.] Why no work at deli / Why you no work. [Normal.] I saw him a-again the other day, actually, the deli guy. He was there. And, again, he asked me if I wanted to work at the deli. And, again, I laughed, because I laugh every time. I just laugh because it makes him happy.
One of the many installments of what I fondly call The Continued Adventures of a Staten Island Streamer, wherein Vinny recounts the mundanity that make up his offline life. The proprietor of a deli Vinny likes (liked?) to frequent apparently wanted him to translate his button-mashing, guitar-strumming skills into the fine art of sandwich slinging.
6:34 – That’s true, uhh, NetBastard, but this game actually comes with Super Luigi Bros., which is basically Super Mario Bros. 1 reversed, and with a new character.
More or less, but Luigi is the main playable character, and the player must struggle through mirrored levels—from right to left. [Mario Wiki – NES Remix 2]
(Ellie’s Note: I’m taking a guess as to how this person’s username was spelled. For all I know, it could have been netbastard, Net_Bastard, NehtB4sturd, etc.)
11:00 – “They got the pips?” I was watching an episode of Star Trek: Next Generation recently where, um, they get caught in, like, uh… I-I don’t want to spoil it, but there’s an episode where the pips actually save the day. Where Data notices the pips, a-and it’s, it literally is the key to the show, and it saves the day. It sounds silly, but it’s, it’s, it’s one-hundred percent true.
Adapted from the present day naval ranking system, the one used in the Star Trek series went through some considerable evolutions, eventually coming to use the small, circular pips, which are worn on the collar. The episode in question may have been Cause and Effect (S5E18). [Memory Alpha – Startfleet ranks]
(Ellie’s personal note: Must pick up watching ST:TNG again in the near future.)
19:17 – Oh, my friend, um… one of my friends was, was looking for, uh… Mushroom Kingdommm… what, what’s that Mushroom… Kingdom game where you play as, like, Link and… Mega Mans… and, and all that stuff. It’s called Mushroom… augh, does anyone know? It’s like Super Mario Crossover. N-no, it’s not Super Mario Cross––, it’s Mushroom Kingdom Fusion, that’s the one. I recommended that he play Super Mario Crossover. But if anyone could, um, do me a favor and, and if you know where to find Mushroom Kingdom Fusion, the most updated version, because I couldn’t find an updated version at all.
Mushroom Kingdom Fusion is a not-for-profit game (as must be stated to please the Nintendo legal team) featuring a variety of characters and levels from popular franchises. It’s developed by Confuzyon Studios. As for the most updated version, check out its itch.io page.
Super Mario Bros. Crossover was a flash Mario fangame first uploaded to Newgrounds in April 2010 by Exploding Rabbit. Within six hours of its initial release, it had garnered 12,000 views and won two awards. It won accolades from gaming journalists, with special kudos coming from Wired and Entertainment Weekly, quite the feat for a fan-created work back in the 2010s. [Wikipedia – Super Mario Bros. Crossover]
Despite the tragic obsoletion of Flash, the game is still playable through Flashpoint. [Flashpoint]
46:17 – It’s all just a play. [Mario impression.] It’s all in your head, Luig.
A paraphrase of one of Vinny’s famous impromptu bits, Terminal 7. [[Vinesauce] Vinny – SNES Corruptions]
47:15 – Speaking of Mario Crossover, you know, that team was trying to do a game called Super Adventure Squad, I believe? Or, or something like that, or Super Action Squad. It was basically a version of Super Mario Crossover they could make money off of. All new characters, all new, y’know, levels, scenarios, basically similar to Crossover, but with their own twists on characters that we might find semi-familiar. And they just stopped development on it. Super Retro Squad. I don’t know how I forgot the name of that. If you go to their website and you check out some of the stuff they wrote, um…
Vinny goes into further explanation for the next few minutes, but the meteoric rise and post-Kickstarter plummet of Super Action Squad is indeed a grievous story to read. [Exploding Rabbit: Super Action Squad is Being Put on Hold (Internet Archive link)]
1:15:06 – Oh, look at that. Three glowy stars [unintelligible]. Ah. It’s just… [Kissing sound.] Wanna kiss an asshole and have it explode into the sky. You know when you do that? When Louis C.K. mentioned that, like, wh-when you like food, you kind of put your fingers all together into, like, a claw, and you kiss it, and then you explode it? It’s like, what is that? Louis couldn’t have said it better. It’s like an exploding asshole.
This bit comes from the standup special, Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theatre: I watched somebody do that the other day after a meal they went, “Oh, it was just–” And I started wondering, what does that mean? What does that signify? I think what it means is that you ate something so delicious that you then kissed somebody on the asshole and their asshole exploded. That’s some good eating. That’s a nice sauce. “Is that good?” “Yeah, let me show you.” “Shit. Let me have some of that.” That just destroyed my anus. [Scraps from the Loft: Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) – Transcript]
The chef’s kiss gesture, overcooked by the internet, has a classier name: al bacio (“as good as a kiss”). [Merriam-Webster: What’s a ‘chef’s kiss’?]
1:26:41 – [Sung.] Don’t cry for me, Balegdah.
A paraphrase of the hook from the song Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina. The song, written and composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, was first featured in the 1976 musical Evita, about Argentine politician and First Lady Eva Perón. It reached further international acclaim in the 1996 film adaptation, with Madonna singing the classic song.
“Balegdah” originated from a 2014 viral video featuring singer Jesy Nelson of Little Mix attempting a Jamaican accent. It must be witnessed to be believed. Warning: repeated viewings may result in misfiring synapses. [Know Your Meme: Balegdah]
1:36:06 – What, a wolf job is a Game Grumps joke? I’ve been saying that with my friends for years. Eh… y’know, when you wolf your food down? Yeah, that’s… that’s wolf job. Right. Or, uh, you’re saying that… that’s a Game Grumps joke? What does it mean to the Game Grumps? Does—is it also mean to wolf down one’s [clears throat] food? [A long pause while Chat dredges up evidence.] It’s a GIF? Okay. [Pause.] A wolf jerking a guy off. What? [Unintelligible] with a wolf? Okay, that’s weird. That’s a completely different definition. Oh. It’s all right, my-my definition is still secure, I’m happy. [Beat.] Should be called a paw job. But that’s just me.
The Game Grumps is a duo, a show, and a Let’s Play channel. It originally started in 2012 as a sort of “two best friends play games while commentating and doing stupid, fun shit” show with Jon “JonTron” Jafari and Arin “Egoraptor” Hanson. Jon departed in 2013 to focus on his own projects, and Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan filled his slot, quickly winning over reluctant fans. The GG channel has grown to include a mish mash of shows, often featuring other folks on the team, friends of the Grumps, and famous guests such as Grant Kirkhope, Steve-O, and Weird Al Yankovic.
First mentioned in the “Shrek Forever After” episode of Steam Train, the infamous Wolf Job is a crude 3D-rendered image depicting a wolf giving a human adult male a… well, a paw job… Since then, it has evolved into an inside joke as well as a series of more palatable photoshopped images featuring a wolf doing odd jobs. [Game Grumps Wiki – Wolf Job]
Woof, writing that entire AriZona Iced Tea Shaq bit made my teeth itch.
Do the spot-on transcriptions of vocal fillers and stutters annoy you? Try listening to them over and over for transcription purposes. No, please, I invite you. Try something new in your life. But really, I’m aiming for accuracy, and this is not at all a dig at the way Vinny spoke in his younger years. In fact, comparing this to how he speaks now, you can tell there’s been a considerable evolution.
Imagine a world where buttons on apps could wear down or break like physical buttons on devices. I’d have lost the “seek backward by 10 seconds” button by now. Criminey, and this is only the second entry of this project. Just to give you an idea of how long I’ll be abusing this poor button, I currently have 27 more videos in a private playlist to sort through.
Besides the seek backward button, I also used the playback speed feature in a few spots so I wouldn’t abuse the former so often. If you want some extra fun (depending on how you define the word), try listening to a video at 0.25x speed. I like to call it Valiumsauce.
Once again, this isn’t the first Vinesauce video I watched. So early in the game? Of course not. That’s not how my life works out. But I do distinctly remember buying NES Remix 2 for my 3DS because the super short games seemed like the kind of thing my sleep-deprived, overworked brain could manage to enjoy back in those days. They were good for a pick-me-up during my lunch breaks.
What’s next on the quest? I’ll give you a hint: it’s the first episode of a beloved series that brought Vinny and a host of screwballs together in the ultimate trashy soap opera, set on an island in the middle of the ocean, where Vinny himself more or less played an interactive overseer.
And so the Questening continues.