Vinesauce: The Questening: The Questioning

Or, I Got Jokes, Folks. Maybe Not Funny Ones, But They’re Still Jokes.

When I posted the new additions to my FAQ page, I thought my answers were straightforward. But I’m learning not to assume that my work is done after I hit the publish button.

What would you do if Vinny found out about this project?

Since I’m a freeze/fawn type, I’d stare dumbly at the screen, and try to brainstorm nice things to say so I can thwart a possible cease and desist letter.

Folks, I was partly joking. I am a freeze/fawn type—might be for the rest of my life despite trauma healing—but I was joking about the cease and desist letter. I wasn’t implying that Vinny would try to shut down my project, nor that he’d be mean to me. The consensus is that Vinny appreciates the various ways in which fans express their admiration and creativity, but I’m a natural worrier and I dread making awful first impressions.

I’m just happy that the little attention this project has received has been mostly positive. VTQ is a passion project, born out of a desire to create something within the Vinesauce community that added a patch to the variegated quilt of fanworks.

Without dwelling too much on the past, I can say that this is probably the first project I’ve made in the 10+ years since I decided to self-promote that has had a modicum of success (for want of a more appropriate word). None of my original projects have gained this much attention or momentum; but that was probably part of the problem—those projects were original and couldn’t inspire comfort or nostalgia in strangers.

I do create for enjoyment, but some creations I want to share—and are made for sharing. As the late fantasy artist James Christensen said in The Art of James Christensen: A Journey of the Imagination:

When I paint, I want people to participate. I want to share something of my own life and ideals, but I want people to bring to the viewing of my artwork all their varied and unique life experiences, too. For me, the art process is not complete without the viewer. I can’t create paintings and just put them in the basement, because I need the reaction of the viewer to complete my artistic experience.

Writing about something I’ve enjoyed for many years, even if it’s a roundabout kind of way, felt safe. But there was a time when I wasn’t even going to go through with it. I spent several weeks hemming and hawing until I decided to just start writing and see what happened. Without going on to social media and self-promoting, of course; the very idea makes my throat want to close up.

VTQ may remain a little side thing on my blog, it may grow into its own thing, or it may inspire an entirely new thing for the Vinesauce community. It’s still early days. All I know is that I want to keep it going for as long as possible.

I’m very happy—ecstatic, really—that some Vinesauce fans have enjoyed what I’ve produced so far (and put up with occasional lip). But if Vinny were to find this project?

Well… yes, I would freeze. I’d be tempted to fawn, because I’m still trying to unlearn that impulse. I would definitely be surprised, and then fighting feelings of worthlessness, because why would someone with his level of success even look at something that an obscure nobody such as myself made?

But deep down, there would be a little spark of happiness. And if he actually liked the project, that little spark would bloom into a glow that wouldn’t burn out any time soon.

So let me revise this bit:

What would you do if Vinny found out about this project?

Since I’m a recovering freeze/fawn type, I’d probably freeze, and I’d be tempted to fawn. But I’d be happy that he took the time to at least look at it. But if he actually liked the project, I’d be incredibly happy. (And for what it’s worth, I like Grey Leno and believe he’s clever commentary on the mundanity of late night talk shows.)

Unlearning fawning techniques is going to take time. Just be glad my fawning doesn’t take the form of drawing stacks of Grey Leno fanart to show on this blog.